By the grace and love of God

Here is an inspiring and uplifting post as they get.

Lately I have been struggling with prayer. I have noticed that my life has become so busy that God was put on the back burner, a place I never wanted him to be. So, yesterday Ben and I were arguing about money. We have a strict budget that we stick to and for some reason this check period we WAY over exceeded that budget. This happens a lot because we are newlyweds and we are trying to adjust to a budget, but normally we are maybe $50 short which can be easily worked into our budget. This pay period we somehow ended up being hundreds short.

I was upset and prayed to God for help. I know we have savings to cover us, but this was our own fault. We over spent and I hated the idea of depleting part of our savings to cover our mistake. We needed to fix the situation ourselves and God needed to be included in that.

Today, I woke up very stressed about money. I went to the eye doctor and spent $55! I was freaking out. I then went and did very conscious budget grocery shopping and managed to stay within the $70 I had allotted myself. Afterwards, I went to see my father who does taxes for a living to spend in our tax returns.

My dad worked our numbers and handed me a piece of paper stating we would be getting $4000 in 10 days! After praying last night for help, I knew this was God. God sent us this money just in the nick of time. We desperately needed it and now not only will we not deplete our savings, it will grow exponentially! God always answers in some way. It may not have been the way I would have suspected (God descending from heaven hold out a $4000 check would have been very cool, right?), but he does answer in his own way.

I wanted to show this to my blog community because while praying last night all I could think was "why would he help me? I have made no time for him in months. Who calls a friend to help them after not speaking to them in months?" but, God doesn't care what his children have done when they are in trouble. He helps them and uplifts them.

I hope this moves you in a way to realize that God is in all things. See everyday as a miracle of his grace.

God Bless.

How about a few pictures?

I thought you guys might like a few pictures. I tend to take a lot of pictures :)

Ben and I at a friends wedding. We had an amazing time drinking and dancing the night way. 

I stole Ben's drink at dinner this last weekend, his was better than mine :)

I'm sort of known because of my yellow peacoat. I bought it a few months back and am constantly getting told how awesome it is. 

These pictures were from our honeymoon. We went to Cancun, Mexico and had a fantastic time. I have an obsession with dolphins so it was important to be to be able to swim with them on our honeymoon. This picture of the dolphin and I is probably one of my favorites. Ben's expression in his photo explains his personality perfectly.

I thought I would do this from time to time just to unload a few pictures. Hope you enjoy :D

5 DPO

Check out the new layout! How fantastic is this? My girl, Erin over at Love, Fun and Football designed it for me. I'm in love. You should check her out because she is awesome.

Today I am 5 days past ovulation. I am considering testing Friday even though that may possibly be too early. It will all depend upon how badly I don't want to see a negative test. I'm not sure if I agree with my chart or not. I really thought I O'd on CD 17, but fertility friend is saying CD 18. Guess we will wait and see. I really want to thank everyone who has left me uplifting comments on my last post. You really made this week better!

Everything else is going fairly well. I have an eye doctors appointment tomorrow and I always dread that machine that blows the little puff of air in my eye. I absolutely can not stand it and usually end up jumping and the nurse tech just gives up on getting the reading.

I honestly have nothing really awesome to say. I was at my internship for 12 hours today and I'm beat.

Before I formed you in the womb

Today I am struggling.

I am struggling with the fact that three of my friends have announced that they are pregnant. All I can think is "how silly am I? Their fertility does not impact mine." I want this so badly, that my jealousy is hard to overcome.

Essentially that is the issue. I am jealous. I am jealous of the mom in the mall who is holding her newborn, I am overanalyzing every thing my body is doing hoping for some tiny sign that it is my turn to feel what a mother does. At this point, I have decided the best thing to do is put it into God's hands.



“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. Before you were born I set you apart."

God already knows my baby. He knows when my baby will come. I know that all I can do is trust in the fact that God will not give me anything that I can't handle. I am still struggling, but this ideal has definitely helped. I need to know that someone has control. I will have the baby God chose for me, I just hope that his plan kicks in soon rather then later :)

I have to allow someone else to handle this situation because in all honesty I have no control. I can time everything to a tee, I can pee on OPKs every minute of every day, but even with all the planning I do nothing will matter if I'm not running on Gods time. I will admit here that I am having a terrible time with handing this over to God. I struggle with control and I know that this needs to be laid at His feet. I need to take a step back and remember that God has a plan and his plan will be better than mine. 

Friday Letters

Dear Weekend, I am so excited you came back! You have been missed greatly. Dear February, can you not follow in January's path and decide your weather for the month. We either want hot or cold. You decide. Dear Graduate school application, you are finished WHOO HOO! I am so glad to have you in the hands of my administrators. Now can you do me a favor? Impress the pants off those higher ups and get me into the program! Dear car, I know we discussed cleaning you out this weekend, but do you really need my help? Dear Uterus, I know this is a whole new experience for you and it can be a bit scary, but please please please let me be pregnant. Dear kitchen floor, I wish you were like the Disney movie Smart House, then I would never have to worry about sweeping or mopping you. Dear husband, I love you. That is all.