36 weeks

WHOO! 4 weeks left! I can see the finish line.

We started weekly check ups today. I had my group B strep test and my first cervical exam.

Let me start off by saying, I was terrified for my first cervical exam. Everything on the internet said how bad it was going to hurt, how terrible I would feel afterwards. Some women even said it was worse then labor! Lets just say I was freaking out.

When I got there I had the group B strep test, no biggie. After which we did the cervical exam, piece. of. cake. Now is it something I would want to do on a daily basis? No. If someone said "Hey lets go out for drinks this weekend and then have cervical exams." I would probably turn them down, but it wasn't terrible. It was about the equivalent of a pap smear (awkward? yes. Painful? no).  I am dilated to a 1, 50% effaced, and -3 station. She said I am doing great for a first time mom at 36weeks.

This leads me to a new topic, the internet and pregnancy. Who in their right mind let pregnant women have access to the internet? I told my husband today that we needed to turn off our wifi. I need to stop googling and just relax. Every little ache and pain leads me to Dr. google and he almost always leads me astray.

The problem is I like information. Have you seen What to Expect when your expecting? I would love to have access to that brochure wall. I love research and knowing exactly what I am looking at. I'm not dumb.  I know when I have a cramp its probably not preterm labor, but I still like to research and triple check what other women experience. I like to think the only reason I haven't made a bazillion trips to L&D is because of Dr. Google (even though his info is usually wrong. You have to dig for the good stuff). So you have to take the good with the bad when it comes to information.

Sleep? What is sleep?

Yup. It's that time again. Night time.

For as tired as I am during the day, as soon as 9pm hits I sit on this computer wide awake not knowing if I will ever be able to sleep. When you are awake for this long, you can't help but feel some anxiety.

I have a million questions in my head. How will we afford this new lifestyle? It is so important to me to stay at home with Walker for the first year of his life. I believe he deserves that time. But, with me staying at home, we are going to be living on a very strict budget. That isn't the problem though. I just can't allow myself to let go of the anxiety of the situation.

I worry that I won't be any good at this. I don't know how to be someone's mother. I am so terrified.

I am terrified of labor. I didn't expect to be this scared. I have built up this terrible idea of what labor will be life in my head. I am scared I will fail at going natural and I won't be as strong as I want to be.

This was a venting post to be honest. I needed to type out my fears and I chose to post them here just in case other moms out there have been there, who want to offer advice. These are the fears that keep me awake at night.

Friday Letters

Dear weather, I am in love. Thank goodness it feels like fall today! Finally I can break out the sweaters and scarves. Dear house, how do you keep getting so dirty? I don't feel like we get this messy every day, but somehow I have to continually clean you. Where is it all coming from? Dear Walker, I adore your movements (just not at 4am). Please stay put for a few more weeks. Mommy doesn't want you coming until you are big and strong and ready to face the world. Dear pregnancy, I am just about over you. Between the back aches, the Braxton hicks, the heartburn, and the inability to breath lets just say I am ready for sleepless night due to holding my baby instead of being uncomfortable. Dear husband, you work so hard to support this family. I don't think I tell you nearly enough how much we appreciate that. You are the most amazing person for putting up with me these last few weeks. I really got lucky in the spouse department.

35 weeks

Holy moley I am 35 weeks pregnant! I have 33 days until my little man is due.

How far along? 35 weeks WHOO HOO!
Size of baby? the size of a coconut
Maternity clothes? Yes! My nonmaternity shirts no longer fit. 
Stretch marks? Oh yeah. My stomach is going to look like a road map. He is definitely leaving me with the marks of a mother. 
Sleep: Sleep? Whats sleep?
Best moment this week: We had our shower last Saturday. Plus I get to feel little man man move everyday. 
Miss Anything? Sleep, feeling comfortable in my own body. 
Movement: Oh, yes. I love it.
Food cravings: None really. 
Anything making you queasy or sick: Over that luckily.
Symptoms: Heartburn, Acid reflux, inability to sleep, cramping, braxton hicks.   
Happy or Moody most of the time: Pretty happy. I have been a little weepy. 
Gender: A BOY!
Labor Signs: Pretty intense Braxton Hicks. I don't think he is coming before his due date though. 
Belly Button in or out? In, but very shallow
Wedding rings on or off? On
Looking forward to: I start cervical checks next week (not exactly looking forward to that), but I do start weekly appointments! That means we are getting close to D day!

I cut my hair off this week! I thought it would be easier to care for when W gets here :)

Coupons for the modern housewife

Since I quit my job 3 weeks ago I want to help make an impact by reducing our grocery bill. Now I'm not extreme couponer, but I have managed to save $15-$30 each time I went grocery shopping so far. I use wal-mart price matching to help get me some really good deals (10 personal pan pizza for $10, who can beat that?). I am trying to get into the actual couponing part though. I haven't yet used any coupons during my shopping trips and I think it's because I am slightly intimidated. I'm not sure how to start looking for coupons. What sites? How do the policies work? etc. 

So thats what this post is about. If you or someone you know is awesome at couponing please send me a link to their blog. I am very interested in starting this process I just need to know where to start. 

Baby shower

We had our baby shower yesterday! We chose a Dr. Seuss theme for the shower. It was such a blast. We received everything we will need for the first few months of Walker's birth. Our little family is incredibly blessed.

We themed all the food (I loved the three cheese tree and truffula fruit haha). It was absolutely amazing and I have my little sister and best friend to thank for it.

Maternity Photos

Here are ten of my favorite photos! I had such a hard time picking just ten! 

It was SOOOO hot outside. You can't tell from these pictures (because my photographer is amazing) but I was literally melting under my clothes. 

Pregnancy insomnia

is not my friend.

I hate not being able to sleep. I have been feeling really crampy and unwell the last two days so Ben is making me rest, and nothing is worse then having nothing to do when you can't sleep.

Then again, waking up at 4am and not being able to go back to sleep is pretty terrible as well.

I have turned my attention to planning a tiny babymoon for the hubs and I next weekend. I'm thinking since I will be 35 weeks pregnant I shouldn't go to far away from home. Oklahoma City is only two hours from home and it offers a few fun activities we can do. I'm think the zoo, OKC memorial, IMAX movie, nice dinners, and swimming for two whole days sounds amazing. I'm just hoping Ben is down for it as well.

Thursday is my next doctors appointment. I don't think it will be anything special, but I will be asking her about these cramps. I have never experienced this before so I have no idea if it's a serious issue or not. Dr. google has me terrified thinking it could be preterm labor or just dehydration. Pregnant women should not be allowed to google things. End of story.

33 weeks, Maternity photos, and becoming a stay at home mommy

This week I hit the 33 week milestone. I have 7 weeks until I am full term and hopefully he will come in 4-7. I haven't packed my hospital bag, there isn't a carseat in my car, nor have I even have my baby shower yet. I am slightly freaking out about all of the above. I'm trying to use every moment of non-baby time to clean my house, reorganize everything, and redecorate because I feel like once he is here I will never have time to do anything. I think I am just causing myself anxiety for no good reason.

So symptoms: I have been getting quite a few of, what I believe to be, Braxton Hicks. I have a ton of pressure down below, but he still hasn't dropped yet. My heartburn has stuck around with a vengeance, but all in all I LOVE being pregnant. I see a lot of moms who are miserable at this point. They can't sleep, sit, lay, or even walk without being in pain. I have been so fortunate so far. Everything has been perfect, and to be honest I'm not ready to not be pregnant, I love it that much. Something are annoying of course, but feeling him move inside me, seeing his hiccups, all of that makes it so very cool that I'm not ready to give it up just yet.

We finished his nursery yesterday! I can finally post a few pictures of that! I am so excited to have that out of the way. We haven't had our shower (it's Saturday) but once that happens we should have everything we need for little man's arrival.

I quit my job a week ago. I had always planned on staying at home with Walker for the first year of his life and focusing on being a good mom and wife while we were adjusting to having a baby. I am so glad to finally be done with that place. I hated going to work everyday, this is where I need to be right now (although it is boring since there is no baby yet).

I will leave you with picture overload because I am a terrible blogger and never update. Please don't hate me :( There is also a sneak peak of my maternity photos from yesterday. There will be more of those to come!

Walker's Nursery

Walker's Nursery

Walker's Nursery

Walker's Nursery

Walker's Nursery

Maternity photo (SNEAK PEAK!)

33 weeks! WHOO!