Sleep? What is sleep?

Yup. It's that time again. Night time.

For as tired as I am during the day, as soon as 9pm hits I sit on this computer wide awake not knowing if I will ever be able to sleep. When you are awake for this long, you can't help but feel some anxiety.

I have a million questions in my head. How will we afford this new lifestyle? It is so important to me to stay at home with Walker for the first year of his life. I believe he deserves that time. But, with me staying at home, we are going to be living on a very strict budget. That isn't the problem though. I just can't allow myself to let go of the anxiety of the situation.

I worry that I won't be any good at this. I don't know how to be someone's mother. I am so terrified.

I am terrified of labor. I didn't expect to be this scared. I have built up this terrible idea of what labor will be life in my head. I am scared I will fail at going natural and I won't be as strong as I want to be.

This was a venting post to be honest. I needed to type out my fears and I chose to post them here just in case other moms out there have been there, who want to offer advice. These are the fears that keep me awake at night.