12/18/12 Grad school

Just received my grades for the semester and while they are great, my cumulative GPA is still not where I need it to be.With that in mind, grad school might not be in the picture. I'm trying to take a deep breath and consider the actual possibility of not getting in for the 2013-2014 school year.

I can see some big pros to not getting in, one being that if/when we do get pregnant, I wont have to worry so much about how I will handle both a newborn and my classes. I will be able to start working (even if it is only for minimum wage) as soon as I graduate in May. The extra money would be great. We can take a trip this summer, just the husband and I, instead of having to take summer classes.

Then, of course there are the ginormous cons of this situation as well. What if I never go back to school? Having a social work degree is practically useless without a masters. While I won't be in grad school, I will still have to take classes to raise my GPA (granted, they will be very easy classes). On the tip top of the list, I will feel like a complete and total failure. I know I shouldn't because it's normal to not get into grad school immediately, but I never fail. I have never failed at anything. 

The whole concept of actually not getting in has almost sent me into tears and the application isn't even due until February, I won't even know the results until April. I need to sit back and think of a serious plan B for next semester. The planner in me won't let me calm down until I do.