OPK update

So... IT'S POSITIVE! I knew it would be, I am finally figuring out this whole process. The best part about this is if I can hold out I can get my BFP on Valentine's day! How precious would that be? But, I am pretty sure I won't have the patience for that. 

So I should ovulate tomorrow or the next day. I'll take either at this point. I am just stoked to have a positive right now. Two week wait here I come!

Something about this cycles just feels right. The baby would be born roughly around October 23rd. Ben is an October baby and really wanted an October baby (I know we can't plan the month our child is born, but we can hope). I would be game for a November baby too, so all hope is not lost on this cycle. In all honesty, I just want a healthy baby. I could care less what gender it is or what month it's born, just as long as it comes into this world healthy I will be satisfied. 

Fingers crossed, hopefully this will be our cycle. I'm hoping to wait until 12 DPO to test, but I have a feeling I'll give in at 10         DPO. I am just so excited!

Come on OPK I know you want to be positive!

This is my second post of the day (Obsessive, maybe?). So I need to confess something before we can go any further.

I take a whole lot of OPKs when it comes time for my O date. So in other words I fully enjoy peeing on sticks of any sort, that being said I have take 5 (yes, FIVE) OPKs today. But here is the reason... I swear it's like 5 seconds away from being positive. It's so close to positive that I almost want to mark it as positive.

Today is CD 15 and all I want in the world is to have a blaring positive tomorrow. One that I can't deny is positive. I'm currently using Wondfo OPKs because of how cheap they are, but I have a small stash of Answer brand OPKs in our bathroom. When I used one of those today it was a very clear negative. I am crossing my fingers, toes, and legs for a positive on both tomorrow. 

I don't have EWCM though and my temps don't seem to indicate anything except for the fact that I am terrible at temping. All those open circles just look gross. I keep telling myself that I will be better at this, but I am failing terribly. I O'd around CD 18 last cycle, but that was my first cycle off BC so I'm thinking it may change. 

On a happier note, Fertility Friend finally got rid of my "fake" cross hairs on CD 10. I KNEW I did not ovulate that day. I mean they were dotted cross hairs, but they still bugged the heck out of me. 

Hopefully, I'll have a positive OPK announcement tomorrow! Then it's onward to the two week wait :)

5 causes of happiness.

I need a happy post today, so here are 5 causes of happiness for my day. 

1. My husband

-I love that he called me today on his break just to wake me up.

2. Starbucks.

-I think this picture is pretty self explanatory.

3. My Northface

-The weather outside is gross today, my jacket is keeping me perfectly warm.

4. My best friend

-I have gotten a zillion pictures of her daughter today, and that on it's own makes me happy :)

5. My Iphone

-This is my trivial item of the day. My phone helps keep me on schedule, and I am only happy when I am in control of my day. Therefore, my phone helps to make me happy :)

-Feel free to do this on your blog and just comment down below. I would love to hear 5 causes of your happiness today :)

Snuggle Saturday

Happy Saturday! How was your Friday? Ours was fantastic. We went on our date night (as mentioned in below post). It was Ben's company work party. The theme was casino night, so we drank, danced, and played blackjack all night long. They were raffling off prizes so instead of money you played blackjack with tickets. It was a blast. 

 

Now on to Snuggle Saturday! 

This weeks topic is most embarrassing story. I have a few that will never grace the internet, so my next best one is high school. Unfortunately I don't mean high school as a whole (although those 4 years were pretty embarrassing!). One day in my senior year, it poured rain. It poured so much that our gym was leaking. So I was running down the hall way almost late for class, but not quite. When my foot found a puddle of water and I slipped backwards. All I know is one minute I was running, and the next minute I was staring at the ceiling. 

Did I mention I had a skirt on? Yeah. I showed my superman underwear (I was/am the person who loved boy superhero underwear. No judging!) to the entire senior hall. In my moment of "did that seriously just happen?" I just laid on the ground until a teacher forced me to get up. In my head the longer I stayed on the ground the more likely that I would fade into the ground. 

My friends still laugh about that to this day!

Friday Letters

Dear person sending me a recommendation letter for grad school,
I have enough on my plate without having to text you every day and not hear back. SEND THE LETTER. Geez.

Dear Ryder,
You are an awesome dog and I love you, but if you don't stop getting your bones out the second I put them up. I am going to scream.

Dear husband,
You are awesome. I have no complaints. I can't wait for our date night this evening. I love one on one time with you.

Dear IPhone,
I know I know I need you in my life, but we need to work together on this whole not loading facebook thing. I mean come on buddy, you know how to do this. If you don't stop pretending to be sick, I am going to take you to Apple and we both don't want to wait in that line.

Dear Oklahoma weather,
Yesterday it was 36 degrees, today its 65 degrees. We really need you to figure this out. My body can't handle this back and forth.

Dear readers,
Thank you for reading through my rants for the week. You guys are awesome :)

God gave me you

TTC Update: Today marks CD 11. I haven't ovulated yet this month, but last month I didn't O until CD 18 so I'm not concerned yet. I'm using two OPKs a day (around 10 AM and 6PM) so I'm hoping

to catch my surge. Last month I used Answer brand OPKs and this month I have Wondfos so we will

see how that works out. 

Now on to my amazing husband: I can home today from my internship to see this

My husband got me flowers for absolutely no reason besides to say that he loves me and was thinking 

about me today. The bottom picture is of our "I love you because" board. I saw the idea on pinterest and couldn't turn down the opportunity. It's an absolutely great way to remind yourself to be thankful

of your spouse for the simple things. We write anything from "I love you because you did the dishes" to "I love you because your smile lights up my day". It's perfect to wake up in the morning and 

find a new random message telling me how much I am appreciated and it's great to write a message

knowing that it will make my husband feel the same way. 

I have learned through my 6 months of marriage that it's not something you take lightly. Marriage is a life choice and you have to work at it every day. This is just a small way to ensure that we know how much the other person cares. 

I'm so glad I found my happily every after with a man who is not necessarily perfect, but perfect for me.

Love and Logic

As a young adult, I am constantly challenged on how I want to raise my children. There are many "Well what would you do if your child did this?" conversations in my past and I know there will be a ton more in my future.

I wanted to dedicate a post about the parenting style of Love and Logic.

Many people have never heard of this form of parenting. They have no idea what I am talking about when I say I want to give my children choices and allow natural consequences. So here is the gist of what Love and Logic is all about.

I want to begin by explaining choices. Love and Logic is centered around the idea of choices. An example would be, say your child won't stop throwing rocks. You response would be " Well Jane, you can't throw rocks because you could hurt someone. You can either quit throwing rocks now, or come and sit by me until we decide as a team that you understand that you can no longer throw rocks." If the child proceeds to continue to throw rocks, you make the correct choice for them. "Jane, I see that you have continued to throw rocks even though I explained that you may hurt someone. Since you didn't make the correct choice this time, I will have to make it for you. You can now come and sit by me until we decide that you understand you can not throw rocks."

The idea of this style of parenting is to teach kids responsibility. Your child must be responsible for his/her actions. Choices can come in many forms such as: letting them pick which shirt they want to wear(from a few shirts that you have already deemed acceptable), what cereal they want to eat, and if they want to join the family at the dinner table.

I could go on and on about this all night because I love this style of parenting that much and there is much more to it then just choices (thats just my favorite part). However, I know I will make mistakes as a parent. I won't always offer choices because my first instinct will be to punish in some circumstances. These are things I want to work through and hopefully (if you read my last post) will gain patience in. I can not wait until I am a parent.

If you want to know more about Love and Logic here is a resource:
http://www.loveandlogic.com

Patience is a virtue

Patience is a virtue or so they say.

I never knew how little patience I had until I started TTC. I went into this journey knowing that I would not get pregnant instantly, I was actually thinking "hey, this is gonna take a few months and it will be fun!" I am quickly learning there is not a whole lot of fun in TTC.

As much fun as it can be with trying to get pregnant, I have to plan every single day in my fertility window to ensure our best chance at conceiving ( I may or may not have written it on our calendar) . Even though I am only on cycle 2, I can't imagine how the women who are on cycle 10 or 20 probably feel. There is so much planning and waiting involved in this process. Then comes the issue of pregnancy, heck thats 9 whole months of waiting. 

While the last month was a bumpy ride (coming off BC hormones is NOT a fun process) this month so far seems to be better. I haven't found myself crying at random commercials on television or tearing up over every little irritating thing my husband does. I have also taken a step back and realized I am in no rush. I need to calm down about this whole process because if I can spend an 3 hour every day scrutinizing over my fertility friend chart, I am becoming obsessed. There lies my problem: obsession. 

I obsess over everything. I like having things happen on my schedule, when I say they will happen. I am a planner and I enjoy having everything planned down to the minute. Getting pregnant is not something you can plan and a baby is not going to conform to my schedule (if only they would!). I need to take these months to relax and stop planning. I need to be okay about going with the flow. I plan on continuing to chart, but thats only because I need to learn my cycles. I will stop obsessing over my chart. I will stop obsessing over peeing on an OPK, I will stop thinking about TTC all the time. 

In place of my obsessiveness, I will:

1) Read a book

2) Catch up on my TV shows (HIMYM anyone?)

3) Go for a walk with my dog

4) Homework (I can dream right?)

These are some of my favorite things to do (minus the homework) and by spending more time on them, hopefully the obsessiveness will dwindle down to something much more manageable. 

My love for Disney.

I have nothing fun happening in the TTC world, so I thought I would share a little bit about myself.

I have an extreme love for Disney.

My all time favorite movie is Aladdin. In fact, I loved the movie so much that as a little girl around the age of 5 I'm on video telling my dad that I am going to dance to "A whole new world" on my wedding day.... 

                               

and you best believe that we did.

Also, my wedding dress was from the Alfred Angelo Disney collect and my wedding party walked into the ceremony to "Tale as old as time" music (minus the words)

So needless to say, my wedding had an underlining Disney theme.

I am also the person who goes to see the movies when they come back into theaters ( Beauty and the Beast anyone?) and I buy every single one of them on blue ray. I want my kids to grow up watching these disney movies, just as I did. I think currently we have about 8 movies. 

And don't even get me started on Disney music. I think my husband wants to murder me for listening to it all the time. It's my preset for Pandora and I use to have a CD in my car. 

While, I watch grown up movies and listen to grown up music the majority of the time, I love listening and watching anything Disney because it takes me back to a simpler time and place when I never had to worry about anything. And lets me honest, You can't really sing any other song like you can "Be a man" from Mulan.

I guess i'll just never let go of the idea of being a Disney princess, and I hope I can pass on this awesome legacy to my babies someday. 

CD 1 and future me

Today marks CD1. -_-

AF came this morning, with possibly the worst cramps I have ever had in my life. I forgot how nice withdrawal bleeding was on birth control. Hopefully, this cycle will be our cycle though!

School started today. I'm not very happy about it, but this semester shouldn't be to hard. I'm counting down till graduation (116 days!), but a part of me is a little scared about the end of this era in my life. I have never not gone to school (and hopefully I'll have one more year with the masters program *fingers crossed*) and getting a big girl job is a tiny bit intimidating.

I'm getting my bachelors in Social Work and I plan to work in adoptions. I know how bad I want to be a mother, so I can only imagine how much it would hurt to find out that for whatever reason that dream wouldn't be able to come true. I want to work with couples to help them prepare to become parents. I want to help get them through the paperwork, classes, house fixing, etc. and finally get to see that moment when they meet their baby. I believe it will be a very rewarding (and in some cases heart wrenching) job and I am excited to get out into the field.

As for now though, I am still waiting to graduate. 5 years of college can really take it's toll on a person.

Weather rant and CD 30

Woke up this morning to freezing rain! We left to go to a friend's house this evening and by the time we went to leave, my car doors were frozen shut. 

You probably don't know this, but I hate the winter, I hate everything that comes along with winter including: snow, ice, dreariness, cold, the fact that snowcone shops shut down, freezing rain, having to wait for my car to defrost before going anywhere, how it gets darker earlier, and the fact that I can't wear flip flops or shorts. 

There is nothing good about being cold. In the summer, you can go swimming if your hot. In the winter, you just get to suffer. The one and only positive thing about winter is Christmas. I prefer any other season besides winter. My favorite being spring and summer. 

Fun fact about spring: my birthday is in the spring! YAY! The big 23 and it's my golden birthday. I have been waiting for my golden birthday for about 10 years (my sister got hers when she was 13 and I was jealous). For anyone who doesn't know, a golden birthday is when you turn the same age as the date you were born on. An example: I will be turning 23 on May 23rd. I have absolutely no plans to celebrate this ginormous birthday of mine yet, but we will se what I can plan over the next 5 months. 

As for CD 30, well I have a feeling cycle 1 is coming to a close. I tested this morning at 11DPO with a BFN. Ugh. Negatives are starting to get really depressing, but you know what they say: Your not out until your out (meaning AF actually makes her dreaded visit). Maybe I'll have good news for you and tomorrow I'll wake up with a temp rise and maybe, just maybe a positive pregnancy test. However, don't get your hopes up because I know I'm not. 

CD 26 and Ryder's photo shoot!

Well hello there CD 26. I will be taking an HPT in the morning (I know, I know 9DPO is a little early, but a girl can dream right?) In all honesty, I'm writing this post so I can post this awesome collage of my dog (and I, sorta)

Isn't he cute? He's currently napping beside me, exhausted for our photo shoot. All in all everything is right in the world. I made BBQ chicken for dinner and Ben loved it, tomorrow I will be cleaning and grocery shopping. Ah the life of a temporary house wife is hard ;)

CD 25

Here we are 7DPO. Nothing new on the home front. I'm preparing to go back to school on Monday and fully dreading it. I have to drive two hours to get to class every Monday until I graduate in May. I'm also completing my grad school application. I swear applying to college was never this stressful. I hate how obsessive I become when it comes to completing things way before the deadline. The application isn't due till Feb. 1st, but I want it done within the week. Currently, I have my sister reading over my essay to check for grammatical errors. I am by far the worst grammar student on the planet.

In TTC world, I have broken my vow to not test before 8 DPO. I took an HPT tonight fully knowing my chances of it being negative. When it was stark white (with the excepting of the control line) I wasn't too let down. I don't expect this cycle to work. I see girls on the bump who have been trying for 6+ months and I want to set myself up for that. I never intended for our first month TTC to be our only month TTC. The only reason I broke down and tested in the first place was because I received these today:

I can not wait to surprise Ben with them. I can see why some people choose to wait to buy baby items.

CD 23

I have crosshairs!

Fertility Friend says I O'd on Jan 1st, but since I missed my temp on Jan. 2nd I could have O'd that day. Either way, our timing was pretty good and I am so excited to be in the two week wait! 

I plan to start testing January 12th, but I know I won't make it that long!

50 questions.

I realized I never gave alot of info about myself on here, so I have decided to do a 50 questions set up.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? 

Yes. My middle name is after my grandmother

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? 

I cry a lot. Especially coming off these hormones. 

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? 

Eh. It's not terrible

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?

I'm not a fan of lunch meat

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? 

Working on that part :)

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? 
Absolutely!

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? 

Yes. I'm a very sarcastic person

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? 
Yes.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
No way -- danger is not my middle name

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? 

Captain Crunch regardless of how unhealthy it is

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? 

Never

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? 
No.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? 

This changes all the time.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? 

Eyes

15. RED OR PINK? 
Red.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? 

I struggle with my weight

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? 

I really don't miss anyone. Everyone I want is my life is still here.

18. WHAT WILL YOU NAME YOUR FUTURE CHILDREN? 

Girl: Lyla Joann Boy: Walker Michael

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?

I'm currently wearing blue socks

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?

Tacos

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? 

Nothing

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? 

Jade blue

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?

Anything I put in my scentsy

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? 

My best friend, Cally

25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?
Beach house!

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? 

Football all the way! 

27. HAIR COLOR? 

Brown

28. EYE COLOR? 
Blue

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? 

Every day

30. FAVORITE FOOD? 

Again, this changes. I love Bagels dipped in cheese

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? 
Happy endings.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? 

This is 40

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? 

Black

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? 
I'd be happy with eternal summer.

35. HUGS OR KISSES? 

Both, I love affection

36. FAVORITE DESSERT? 

Cheesecake

37. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?
Cardio.

38. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?
Computer. 

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? 
Wither.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? 

My mouse pad is nonexistent 

42. FAVORITE SOUND? 

I actually love the sound of high heels walking on concrete. Freak? I know.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? 

Dont care

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?

Sydney, Australia

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? 

Unless you count singing in the car....

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? 

Oklahoma

47. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?

Oklahoma

48. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?

Well it's brick

49. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?

Red

50. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE IN TEN YEARS?

I would like to have my masters completed. Be living with my husband and our 2-3 kids, working at an adoption agency helping change the lives of everyone I come in contact with.

CD 20

Dumb me slept through my alarm. I now have no temp for CD 19 and thats especially a pain in the butt because I expected to see a temp shift this morning. Grrr.... Here's to hoping I see it tomorrow. My OPK was negative today which I expected. Two positives in a row for Dec. 31st and Jan. 1st. Fingers crossed that I actually O'd.

New years was fabulous and since I'm team Drink till its Pink I enjoyed two very large bottles of wine with my best friend. We stayed out until well after 3 AM. Got to ring in 2013 in style!

I ordered a "soon to be a mommy" shirt in pink and a "soon to be a daddy" shirt in blue for Ben and I. I'm pretty stoked about getting them even though I have yet to receive the onesie I ordered two weeks ago (need to contact that Etsy seller).

All in all just hoping I see a temp rise tomorrow so I can move on to the two week wait!

Last thing, my Christmas present from Ben finally arrived! It's an Origami Owl necklace (http://www.origamiowl.com) with our birthstones, last initial, and a dog bone for our fur baby Ryder. Here's a pic just to prove how awesome it is!